It’s happened! Recently we spent time with a small group of friends and their teenage children at a restaurant and were astonished at some of the lack of respect shown to others in the group. One of the teens (let’s call him Tim) looked at his mother and demanded she not interrupt him while he was talking. The stunned mother said nothing.

Then a few moments later Tim interrupted someone else talking in the group.
First of all I could feel my anger swelling up, then I thought about it and realized how bitterly disappointed I was rather than angry.

Photo by Mikael Leppä /CC BY

This happens often in the workplace as well. It wasn’t too long ago that a woman who had been with the organization for more than 20 years quit. Why? It was because she could not stand the way some of the employees were treating the boss. He owned the company and she felt he deserved to be treated with greater respect than was being afforded him. In fairness to the staff, apparently the owner accepted the way he was treated. Imagine the cost of the loss of the woman with 20 and more years of experience – that’s 20 years of experience that is not easily replaceable.

It drives me crazy! Thus I thought it might be time to remind people about the little things that show respect – whether in a social setting or at work. And, by the way, this has nothing to do with age – you have all seen strange things occurring from young, middle aged and older people!

What are the signs that an individual is not showing respect?

1. When people don’t look at you when they are talking to you (or you are talking to them) it feels like you aren’t important to them – even worse is when someone is looking around the room to see who may be a better (read more important) person to talk to
2. If you don’t take your hat off when talking to others (and sunglasses too) it makes the other person uncomfortable – hats and glasses do not allow the person to see your eyes and the eyes say a lot about your interest in the person you are talking to
3. In a meeting don’t rustle papers or chew with your mouth open if food is being served – your mother taught you this when you were three years old – time to bring back what mother taught us – and when you are on Skype leave the papers alone – they rustle too and you cannot be heard on the other end of the conversation
4. People who don’t pay attention to basic hygiene make others uncomfortable – they don’t want to serve them, work with them, or sit beside them – you can add to this wiping out the sink with a paper towel after you have used the washroom – and oh yes, do remember to flush and to wash your hands – no one wants to use a mucky sink and worse, no one wants to handshake hands with someone with poor hygiene
5. Arguments are usually about people’s personalities rather than the facts – it can easily cross the line between a debate of ideas and a personal attack – if you do not agree with the person you are talking to consider this, “Have you considered….?” – it can still get your point across without hitting the other person over the head
6. Not opening the door and holding it open for those coming behind you – yes, almost everyone is capable of holding the door open for themselves – it’s just good manners
7. By inviting someone for a business meal or coffee and expecting them to pay unless, of course, you have both decided to go “Dutch treat” BEFORE you got to the restaurant – remember, the person who invites pays – I was invited for lunch by a colleague once and when the bill came it was left on the table until eventually I felt I needed to pick it up – I did and I paid – it is never comfortable for people to be wondering who is going to pay – clear that up early

Why are everyday manners important? The simple reason is, it’s just good business. To be more specific, imagine the cost of having to hire the new staff person for the company I mentioned above. And, you can add to that the poor morale which was obvious in the company where people said whatever was on their mind to each other and to the boss. Good manners help to effectively use one’s time – for instance, people who show up on time need to be congratulated for their timeliness by having a meeting start on time, having things dealt with professionally and then ending on time so they can get on about the rest of their business.
There you have it! It’s time to get back to a more civilized atmosphere where we care about those around us AND we actually show it! Regardless of your age, if you merely do the above and do not add one other item to show respect to others it will go a long way to having others want to be in your presence. And that dear reader brings a whole lot to the bottom line. Try it and see the results!