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You’ve met them! The ones that have something negative to say about anyone and any situation. It’s rather sad as I see it… it makes me wonder what was instilled in them to reach this negative conclusion.
It’s easy to judge in a negative way! Often, I hear comments about, “Susie’s hair, Johnathon’s beard, the lack of care of children, the bad driving….” Well, you get the picture. We are quick (oh yeah, self included) to judge. It appears to be human nature.
Yes, as much as I steer clear of negatively commenting on something I do find myself doing it from time to time. It’s maddening – I know better! As a child, one of my grandfather’s would ask about the religion of my playmates. It meant nothing to me. Yet, my wise mother would say to her dad, “We’ll have none of that!”
Never the kid in the “IN” crowd in school? You weren’t alone; it was usually a pretty small group. It sometimes felt like you were left out, on the sidelines looking in. Being judged! Was it your hair, your clothes, your parents, their rank in society or the car they drove. Often, we had no idea why we weren’t part of that crowd, we just knew we weren’t.
As a former educator each child that moved forward in the school came with a file outlining academic standing and personal attributes. It was something I never looked at until Christmas time. Why? Because I did not want the influence (read judgement here) of other teachers to influence how I treated that child. My own assessment was of more value to me so I could help each child be the best he or she could be.
Today, we have so much judgement going on – Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and Instagram are meant to be opportunities to share and help others. Instead, at times, it has become a place for people to badmouth others. Such a shame.
Think about it! Do you like being judged negatively by others? I don’t! It takes me back to what my mother taught me! “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” Although I do my best to live this way there are times that I become that naysayer too! Then I am so disappointed in myself.
You may want to adopt some of the techniques I have used to better myself. If they help, you’re welcome!
- Think it – recognize it is a negative judgement, and keep the thought to myself
- If I do let those words out of my mouth, I apologize
- Find at least one positive thing about what I saw as a negative
You see, we never know what that other person is going through at that moment. In these instances, I always think back to a story I heard years ago. A man was in a restaurant and his kids were creating havoc. The waitress (yes, that was the word in bygone years) asked him (in not a very pleasant tone, to keep his kids in check. He looked up, apologized and said he had just left the hospital where his wife had died and he wasn’t thinking very straight.
Yes, we never know what has gone on in someone’s life that is creating what we are seeing or hearing. As humans, we may never get away from judging others, yet we can recognize that we do it and do our best to keep it inside. Your best bet is to give some slack, find something nice to fill your own mind instead of the negative.
Recently something happened that really helped my heart. My husband fell – he got dizzy while outside and fell to the ground. Two women came to his rescue, one a neighbour woman he had chatted with only moments before and the other a woman who was driving by, saw him fall and stopped and ran over to help. They got him to the door, rang the bell and supported him.
I am sure you have seen random acts of kindness like this. Please share with me – these are the instances that remind us we are all here to help one another. To the unknown woman, thank you. To our neighbour, thank you. Hubby was fine after a brief laydown!
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
”The great solution to all human problems is individual inner transformation.”
― Vernon Howard